Today is officially my birthday and it’s funny that over the years I make my birthday less and less of a deal. It not only has to do with being officially in my “late 30’s” but also that I’m a mom to a very active little one year old and at this point just having a break or a nap is a gift!
I remember in my 20’s coordinating my birthday months in advance. The outfit had to be a statement dress preferably sequins and the location had to be poppin’ (or as the kids say LIT). Some birthdays extended over days (starting from Wednesday at Sidebar into the weekend) and into other cities (like Vegas). My-my times have changed! As I reflect on my life I think of how blessed I am, and so thankful to have been able to create all of those beautiful memories (and even create a little human) on my thirty-something years on earth.
What I’m wearing: Chicwish Tutu | Chicwish Top | Valentino Rockstud heel
SHOP MY LOOK
For today’s post, I figure I would talk about 5 life lessons I have learned so far in my thirties that I didn’t know in my twenties:
Turning setbacks into motivation “when one door closes, another one opens”
You don’t see it on social media, but in life (especially in blogging) there is rejection and being passed on opportunities. In my 20’s I would mope about rejection, take it to heart and let it discourage me. Over time, I have learned that it is better to embrace it and turn it into “watch me achieve something better” energy. Simple example: I was up for a feature on a national magazine years ago and they didn’t choose me. Although I was bummed and wondering why I was passed on for the opportunity, it was the first time that the rejection vibes motivated me to pitch myself to other national magazines. One of those magazines (a bigger one at that!) took notice and featured me just a month later. Ever since then, when a door closes on me, I am motivated to go knock and force another one open.
I refuse to kiss anybody’s a–
I don’t care who you are or where I’m at (work, blogger event) but I am too old to be kissing anybody’s a—. Ok, I know that sounded a bit rough, but I say this because I witness it sometimes especially in this age of social media where you can catch me trying to control my eye-rolling. At this point in my life, I refuse to let anyone make me feel “less than” because I am secure in myself, I am happy in my life and I have an amazing core group of friends and family. Moral of the story: I don’t need to kiss anyone’s bootay, okkkrrr! And neither should you!
Living within my means
Allow me to elaborate, I’ll be the first to admit that in my twenties I was all about the label, all about portraying a lifestyle that I couldn’t afford until I hit rick bottom financially. To top it off, I was somewhat of a lost soul partying A LOT (which now I appreciate getting that out of my system). I’m going to talk about it more in detail in a separate post, but this time in my life I was forced to change my mindset and really evaluate my priorities. I paid all of my credit card and student loan debts in the span of 4 years and in those 4 years of discipline and budgeting, I realized I don’t care what people that don’t know me personally think of me as long as I know who I am and how much I have in my bank account- dang, is old age making me sassy?
Time heals all wounds / This too shall pass:
We all have our ups and our downs, events in life that make us sad, mad, or challenge us like break ups, set backs, losses, etc. I learned that, sometimes you just have to give things time, to settle in, to grieve and to process. At this point, I know myself so well that when something upsets me I know it’s only a momentary feeling and I need to give it time. When times are tough, if I can’t control the factors that are upsetting me I maintain my faith in God that things will get better and so far they have!
Don’t beat myself up, instead I celebrate myself
I have enough going on that I refuse to beat myself up over anything. I try to learn from my mistakes and keep it moving. I will say, I was scared that it was going to change when I had a baby especially with the mommy guilt. I remember the nurse sitting my husband and I down at the hospital before I was discharged and her giving us a talk about how critical self-care was in the months after having a baby because of hormones, the risk of getting post-partum depression, and how low in iron I was. She advised that I be in tune with myself and my needs because if I’m not ok, I won’t be ok for baby which is my priority. So since then I make sure that I am taking care of me, if I mess up (dang that mom brain!) I have to just take a breather and indulge in me time when the baby sleeps.
And those are just some life lessons that stuck out to me to share. I think they have been lessons that have really helped me stay true to myself and my values in this age of social media. Hope you all enjoyed reading, let me know your thoughts!
Best {Fashionable} Regards,
Paulina
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All pictures by WhiteTeeBlackDress
